Todd Jay Leonard, Blog
In my last column, I wrote about how wonderful taxi services are in Japan. It was the first of my "Todd's Top 10 List of Things Japanese." If you missed it and wish to read the full article, it can be accessed at www.shelbynews.com. Ranking No. 2 on my list of things I like about Japan has to be "tipping" - or the lack thereof.
The custom of patrons tipping service-related workers in restaurants, hotels, etc. is not normally practiced in Japan - if at all. In fact, service-related workers would most likely be insulted if someone tried to tip them.
An example of this was when a friend came to visit me here from back home. I took her to one of my favorite restaurants where I had become a regular. She was very impressed with our waiter, who was especially attentive and friendly throughout our meal.
When we prepared to leave, I got up first to pay the bill at the register. As she gathered her things, she noticed I didn't leave a tip on the table. So to be helpful and to contribute to the meal, she laid down a bill equivalent to about $8.50 in the center of the table before leaving.
We left the restaurant and began walking hurriedly to another place where we had a scheduled appointment. Several minutes later, a very out-of-breath waiter came running after us calling my name. I had no idea why in the world he would be chasing us down, because I had double-checked before we left to make sure we had all our bags and coats with us.
When he reached us, he extended the 1,000 yen bill to me and said, "You forgot this on the table." I was thoroughly confused because I knew I hadn't left any money on the table. Since I was speaking in Japanese, my friend had no idea why the money was being returned to me, figuring I had overpaid at the cash register.
I turned to her and said, "How strange ... he found this money on our table. I wonder where it came from." She immediately explained that she had left it as a tip, thinking I had forgotten to do so. I then relayed to our waiter that the money was left on the table by my friend, intended for him, because he was so attentive and friendly during our meal.
His first reaction was one of puzzlement, which then quickly turned to a look of bewilderment, then embarrassment. To him, it is his job to be friendly and attentive, because he is serving us in the capacity as a waiter, and the restaurant pays him a salary to do so. To accept money from a customer would be unethical, because it is a part of his job.
My friend tried to force the money on him, but he just bowed graciously apologizing until she took the bill out of his hand. I thanked him for going to the trouble to return the money and explained that in the United States, it is a custom to leave extra money on the table after a meal as a tip to the person who served the food.
He admitted he had heard of the custom of tipping, but was still uncomfortable accepting cash from a "regular" customer (such as myself) and especially from a guest (such as my friend) who is a visitor to his country. He most likely felt like it was his responsibility to make sure my tourist-friend received a good impression of Japan, hence his willingness to be so attentive and friendly during our meal.
In Japan, it is often customary for a restaurant owner to offer an added dish as "service" (meaning free of charge) to regular customers. One particular restaurant I have regularly gone to for nearly 20 years has a core group of diehard customers who prefer to sit at the counter instead of tables in order to chat with the owner as he cooks and serves the food.
Often, as a token of appreciation for our continued business, he will make a special dish at the end of the night for all of us to share.
On trips home, I am always perplexed about how much a tip should be, and honestly, I am a bit resentful that I am expected to leave money over and beyond the cost of the meal for service that should be a part of the total dining experience.
Before I am inundated with e-mails from waiters, waitresses, hotel workers and the like, I will say that I understand the economy behind tipping as a supplement to the workers' income. However, after living in Japan for so long where tipping is not a custom, I like not having to do it.
If the service is indeed poor, is it all right not to leave a tip? I think most Americans feel obligated to leave a tip regardless and, in essence, view it as a part of the total cost of the meal and not solely as an award for good service.
I can think of one instance in Japan when a type of tip is given and accepted willingly. In traditional-style Japanese inns called "ryokan," it is customary to offer money or a gift as an expression of gratitude to the hotel staff.
This custom is called "kokorozuke" and is usually offered at the beginning of the stay. In these types of hotels, the lady of the inn will usually greet the guests at the door, assist them in checking in, and then will accompany them to their room.
Once there, she will serve them tea with some sort of snack. She will see to the meals during their stay at the inn, prepare the futons for sleeping and assist in folding the bedding in the morning.
Although in some Japanese inns today, a service charge for this type of individual attention is added automatically to the bill, some of the older, more traditional inns do not.
In these instances it is a nice gesture to offer some type of gratuity to the woman. As a high school student, I remember my host mother giving the woman who helped us at our ryokan an expensive box of chocolates in lieu of actual cash.
If cash is given, it should be in new bills wrapped in paper or placed in an envelope. It is rude to hand money directly to someone in Japan without first covering it with something opaque. Also, older bills can convey a certain degree of disrespect because it can mean that the person did not take the necessary time to prepare properly the kokorozuke.
Even shops will place change on a tray as not to offend the customer by handing the money directly. If no tray is available, I have seen shop clerks gingerly hold out the money with one hand, while holding their other hand flat under the other hand like a tray.
Traditionally, if a couple is staying at the inn, it is the woman who gives the money or token of appreciation in the form of a gift as a tip. Historically, dating back to the days of the samurai, it was considered beneath a man's dignity to handle money.
Still today, many husbands turn over their entire paychecks to their wives, who then handle all household related finances and expenses, doling it out to pay bills, buy food, and even to give back a bit to the husband as his monthly allowance.
Outwardly, it may appear that Japanese husbands are in complete control in the marriage, but do not be fooled by this illusion. The real power lies with the wives, because behind the scenes they rule the roosts.
After all, Japanese wives have complete charge of not only running the household, the care and education of the children, but also the money. Japanese wives truly do hold the purse strings in Japan.
By TODD JAY LEONARD
Columnist
To tip or not to tip?
Japan has different view of rewarding service
Monday, April 23 , 2007
